I'm a selfish ASS!

Well if you know me, you know it can be true. I care about myself, and I'm not always worried about others. Take the case of my oldest, who I am extremely proud of. The problem is, I don't always take his feelings into account. Most of the time I do, and I let him do what he wants to, which like most young men his age is play video games and ignore adults.

More recently however, I am forcing him to have some mild interaction to people he doesn't like to be around. For the most part, he doesn't like to be around them because he is fiercely loyal to his mother (we are divorced and she didn't like my family), which is a good trait (the loyalty part). The problem for him, is that I've let him be sheltered for too long, and now when I don't let him have it the way he wants, he resents me and it ruins my weekend. (Unfortunately, he can be quite a bit like his mother)

Anyway I guess the thing is I want it all to be okay- I want everyone to be happy, but most of all I want to be happy. I deserve it. Parents don't always have to put their kids feelings first. Sometimes we are right. Sometimes I have to have a shitty weekend just to be right.

PS- So tonight, he knew the plans for the evening, and had decided he didn't want to come along. He wasn't interested in leaving his mom's house. And she wasn't exactly helping the situation as far as I could tell. If he didn't get in the car when he did (after about 10-15 minutes of "discussion")

I was left with two choices.
1- I let him stay home, he wins- and he gets to think that he has a say in who he spends time with, and maybe more dangerous-when he spends time with me.
2- I call the sheriff to enforce the parenting plan. Now I am an Ass, but both he and his mother know that I mean business- and my time is my time and not negotiable.

Feel free to leave a suggestion for option 3. I imagine this will come up again.

All in all- I'm an Ass, but I don't think I'm a bad dad. - BTW- I'll delete your post if you say I'm a good dad, or not an ass, thats not what this is about.


Gin Hahn,
Tim