Hi Five of Trouble

Dear Gentle Reader,

Okay so thats what Dear Abbey or Erma Bombeck or some other old bag used to say- reality of this situation is that now you really know wwhere I'm heading.

Anyway- the stats show that for people who aren't related to me, people like the list type posts. (Oddly, people related to me seem to favor this post)

Also- if they (family members) are reading this, they most likely will want to stop here and not read on. Otherwise read at your own peril. Bring it up on Thanksgiving if you will, but eb warned- I won't hold back.

You've probably heard of a hi-5 list.
Thats the five people you get a free pass on. Its like a dream situation that never happens, right, your significant other says "Sure you can do it with Ryan Reynolds, and I'll give you a Hi Five for it", cause you both know it'll never happen and if it did you'd really have something to talk about.

Anyway a Hi-5's are one thing, but at my advanced age (sure one of my best buddies is dating someone who could be my daughter) there are some girls out there who just make it feel like I'm asking for trouble.

So here is my Hi-5 that just feels wrong.
(In no particular order)

Minka Kelly - Okay, she's actually old enough to not get me in trouble, but she plays young so well. Have you seen the show Friday Night Lights? Well you haven't because Nielson ratings say so. But you should. And then your catholic guilt would shine through too.

Joey Potter - Okay, truth is Katie Holmes is gotta be batshit crazy or the worlds most patient gold digger. Because she's still married to the gay anti-christ Tom Cruise. But Joey Potter still makes me a little crazy. Damn, I wish I was her Dawson.

Li Lo - Man, I could help this girl out. Am I the only one who didn't fall asleep when watching Freaky Friday or Herbie the Love Bug? And now that Samantha Ronson thing too? Too much. Something about freckles and that smokers voice.

Megan Fox - Transformers. Hot. Dirty. Trouble.

Natalie Portman - Princess Leia's Mom is a hottie. Nuff said. Not sure, check out the coliseum scene in Star Wars Episode 2. Not to mention Beautiful Girls, but thats real trouble. Also try that Zach Braff Movie.

Speaking of Zach Braff- I have a weak spot for
Mandy Moore.

Carrie Underwood - Lets just say I'd love to make her want to carve her name in my leather seats.

Probably enough for now, any more and they'll have to lock me up.

Gin Hahn,
T

Who reads this shit?

I don't usually read software license agreements, but I saw a bunch of bold all caps shit while doing a recent update to iTunes.

WTF?

Their lawyers are more whacked than my ex.

THE APPLE SOFTWARE IS NOT INTENDED FOR USE IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEMS, LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES OR OTHER EQUIPMENT IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF THE APPLE SOFTWARE COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.


Wait... There's more.

You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.

Frankly, I'm not sure if I can live by this agreement.

Gin Hahn,
T

Okay Smart Ass.

Listen up anonymous. Don't entice my pent up lazy ass wrath or you will feel the pain of my....

Whatever. I could give you my excuse for a lack of posts, but truth is the site is ad free and I gots to pay the bills so lately I been bill payin instead of bloggin.

Well that's changin- at least for the moment.

Here is a link that is not safe for work, but cracked my shit up. Warning: If you are a croc lovin' clown faced titty curtain wearer you may be offended by this site. But you probably should visit anyway- its in your best interest.