One Final Note to Mom and Dad...

There is another email out there somewhere, but I can't find it, so for now, we'll call this the last one.

I meant to email last night, however, it seems the "one phone call" policy doesn't include an email- and my lawyer said that since I already owed him so much money, maybe an overnight stay would do me some good.

I did make several new friends during my stay, they are all coming over tonight, which is good because your housekeeper was there yesterday, so we should have a nice spot to come home to. (These guys have such a good sense of humor- they all had these really ironic names like "Tiny", "Shorty", "Red"..."Killer"...)

I gotta tell you though, I'm getting real tired of rolling a keg up your driveway every night. 1-It's loud, and 2-those things are pretty heavy. You know, it would have been more considerate of you to live on the other side of the street- I guess you'll know for next time. Oh and I haven't meet the woman across the street yet, but they're a St. Johns family right? I forgot to tell you about how we we're checking out the mercedes and the parking brake slipped. The Car is fine, and I think that fixing the brickwork will be pretty simple, but I have to wait until the woman gets back from the hospital to get permission to fix it. Apparently she's kind of "uptight" and when the car came crashing in, well.... The medics said she would be fine once she gets out her stress induced catatonic state.

Anyway-I hope the bus ride isn't too hard on dad- I hear that they aren't air conditioned and since the greeks don't believe in deodorant, that could be one long ride.

XOXO

43

From: T
Subject: Forty-Three
Date: June 24, 2005 8:18:22 PM PDT
To: Mom and Dad

That's how many people you can fit on the boat before the portholes are below the water level.

Just thought you should know,
T

Have you ever...

About two years ago, my folks went to Europe. They told me I could stay at or use their house if I wanted to while they were gone. (an offer I didn't take them up on) Anyway, while they were gone I sent them a series of emails, that from time to time get referenced by others.

Since I barely remember them, and my brother called one out yesterday I decided to look them up myself. And I thought I'd post them here over the next few days so that I can find them again someday if I need them.

So without anymore fanfare or explanation, here's the first message. Sent 6/20/05

Hi Dad-
OK- I'm totally confused by the time difference- I wanted to call you to wish you a happy fathers day, but I keep thinking about it too late in the day. So does this get partial credit?

Hope you are enjoying your trip so far, we had a great party last night at your house. Don't worry, we'll get the broken windows and furniture fixed before you get back. 

Do you know how to get women's undergarments out of the hot tub jets? I do now, I can pass the tip along. 

By the way I couldn't find the chlorine stuff you were talking about, but I figured that we spilled enough champagne, tequila and vodka to balance it out. 

I got a little nervous when the police came, but a few of the ladies persuaded them to let the party roll on. 

When I left for work this morning, everyone that I knew was out of the house... there were a few people still there, but since I didn't know them I assumed that you knew them and I didn't want to disturb them- they looked a little psychotic.

Anyway if you get this- feel free to give me a call anytime I'm not worried about losing sleep, I don't plan on doing much of that this week anyway, what with the whole gang coming back over tonight....

Happy Fathers Day-
Love,

T

An Uncharacteristic Moment of Sanity

Last weekend may have been the most difficult so far in my young life.

Things really came to a head with boys as their mother sold the house that they live in and amped up her threats to move them north to Bellingham. I'll spare the world all the details, just say that in no uncertain terms she has made it clear in their minds that they have to move because of me.

My youngest mentioned how Bill Gates and I are very much alike, we both are really rich, but he shares his money and I keep it all to myself.

Now, if you know me at all, you probably know that while I may spend money like I am, I'm not rich, and I don't believe that any of this conversation is something that should be had with an 8 year old. Kids should be kids, Financial issues should never come to mind. And certainly dirty laundry between parents should stay between parents, it should never be used as a wedge between parents and children. (I understand that this is my blog- and I get to be one sided - but people get divorced. And no matter what anyone thinks, its never just one persons fault. You would think some people would pick that up in a years worth of marriage counseling)

Anyway, lets just say it was a long weekend and leave it at that.

Anyhoo, back to the moment of clarity. In a stunner, the crazy person that is my ex wife somehow realized that she in fact could afford to live in the city, (especially after walking away with what I imagine will be around 300K from selling the family home - I say imagine because 1- I really don't want to know, and 2- The kids were instructed not to tell me - I didn't ask, but that did come up) 

So I'm getting tired of writing, but for all of you out there who may be concerned. They kids are staying put. (In a bizarre twist that I won't share with them- they now only live about two blocks from my-ICE. The crazy bitch need not know where she lives) They have found a great new place that the boys are really excited to move into. One that fits a family their size so much better than what they had before. ( Not many 16 year-olds want to share a bedroom with a 9 year old) 

The looming threat for the last year has gone away, and apparently I do pay her too much for her to get public assistance, even in Bellingham they don't give it to people who make enough to have a house, a car, HBO,  and all their groceries and dinners delivered. 

Gin Hahn,

T

Ahh, the neighborhood.....

I love where I live. 

I love that there are a ton of things that I can walk to. (Okay- truth... I've walked to dinner twice from here, and coffee twice, and the video store once.) But the thing is, I can if the mood strikes me. 

I've been thinking about moving, especially if the kids move to Bellingham (which is looking more and more like a reality these days) that I may move too. Someplace that is more convenient for My-ICE, too. (Do not read Tacoma) And really, in fairness to her and I and our lives together we should start building a place that is ours and not just mine or hers, but I digress, and while she does read my blog I'll drop in my usual disclaimer here that the whole world shouldn't read too much into what I've written here and no, I didn't just ask her to officially move in with me in front of the entire world. Things just keep evolving. And of course you would be the first person we told if there was anything to tell, and by the way, much to nobody's surprise, Nicole Richie is now actually confirming that she is pregnant. (See what I did there)

Anyhow, if I actually did move, I would plug any potential new address into this website before moving, just to make sure I was heading someplace where I could roam the streets and find good eats, or a haircut.

BTW, my current estate scored a 77 out of a potential 100, which I think is a pretty good score. (For a point of reference, the house I grew up in scored a 37, and the boys house in Ballard scores a 60.)

Gin Hahn,

T

Favorite lines...

Fortunately, I've either said, or had these said to me... and no one was joking!

Do you need glasses? (With the pitcher of beer you are buying) 

Why, was I squinting?

One of these cookies has only 100 calories. 

Really, which one?

I had a bunch of others in my head, but they've disappeared for now, so I'll keep adding to this post later.

Gin Hahn

T

Can't get this out of my head

So we saw this band this weekend called Menomena. Now I may not have spelled it right, but the name came after that Sesame Street bit.

Or so everyone tells me. But everyone remembers the bit differently, so I have compiled a few of them here for you.

Before you click, I warn you. Its addicting. The people around you will love it at first, probably sing along like Gareth Keenen did with David Brent in The Office, but eventually, you will all go crazy.

Its a shorter trip for some.

The Premiere on the Ed Sullivan Show from 1969.

From the Muppet Show.

For you Gamers out there... The Halo Version.

Here's one for the True Believers.

If you are so inclined - you can buy a version by the Peeps - you know, the candy you eat at easter.

Jin Hahn,

T

My friend John is at it again...

At a recent show, 63 of his fans were arrested for doing bad things, here is the last paragraph from his open letter to those fans....

"In looking to the future, I hope that this will serve as a wake-up call to young fans who may be thinking about engaging in illegal activity at one of my concerts. If I happen to be walking backstage and I see any of you young men passed out drunk on a stretcher, make no mistake about it, you will come-to in front of your disappointed parents with a face full of Sharpie and the sneaking suspicion that you've been teabagged by one of Time Magazine's 100 most influential people of 2007."

Read the full story here.

Gin Hahn,

T

My First '08 Endorsement

Vote for an honest man you can trust.

More Cowbell.

(Drink more) Gin Hahn,

T